this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
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I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
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My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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