Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
