First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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