need another drink. this is the easiest way
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
