since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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