I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I am available for nakedness
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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