its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
