my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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