i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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