I heard we made out
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
