apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
