i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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