So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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