Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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