someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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