Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
