jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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