So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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