You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
