Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
