you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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