is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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