Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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