I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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