Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
