Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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