She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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