You made me cry and you don't even care
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
