my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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