We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
