Are we in a gay sports bar?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My vagina just clenched in fear
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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