You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
