i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
