No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
