Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
