you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize