bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
