Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
