I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
