I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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