me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
