HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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