I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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