So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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