glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I could make wine with my vomit
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
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I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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