We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize