No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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