It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you would pick up someone in the library
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I need to calm my uterus...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
