A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
and you said cock pushups were impossible
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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