Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
