see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
