my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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