i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
