This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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