if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
