she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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